So much of what we do or don’t do simply doesn’t happen because of “how it makes us look” or “what other people think”. We all want what’s out there in the world to be the “absolute best”, but the simple fact of the matter is that this isn’t what life is all about.
People care way less than you may think.
Try it. Upload a video to a new channel. Nothing happens.
The fact of the matter is just that you can just go out and try different things. If it ain’t perfect: don’t worry. If it’s meant to be good, then people will pick up on it in the “crappiest version”.
It ain’t about perfection. That can come later.
This is about trying things out. It’s about coloring outside of the lines. This is about going to the excess, to go the extreme, to figure out where things will bend.
And then you know.
Sometimes that’s all there is to it. Sometimes you just have to find out.
Hit the wall.
Try again.
Hit another wall.
Try again.
But learn from it. Make small progress each time, and then you will find out after some time that one of the things that you “put out there”. That it actually works. And they all say that you shouldn’t do it for validation, but man does it feel good. And none of it would have happened if you didn’t get started in the first place.
So just go and do it. Just start. See where it leads. See what happens. And the worst that can happen is that you figure out what doesn’t work. And then you do the opposite. Then you do what does work. And you keep doing it. And you do more of it. And then one day, you got something. You got a fly-wheel, that will keep on spinning, and that’s when you backpedal, try new things, because it feels good, it gives you that rush, and there ain’t nothing quite like it. And that’s when you have found your groove. Now ain’t that something?
Forget about mind-set, strategies, protocols, principles, key questions, long-term ambitions, “moon-shots”, missions, and all of those things. There is a place and time, but it only makes sense once you are able to put all of it in the right frame of mind. There needs to be a bigger idea that ties everything else together. The sort of idea that is easy to understand, but that puts everything in a brighter light. It’s because we lose track when it all gets way too complicated, and to an extent it’s all over-thinking a lot of things that are essentially simple.
And I have been thinking a lot about this lately, because it has to do with where you are right now, but also where you want to start when you build your empire———that’s where all this becomes ultra-important, and I thought the greatest thing to pass down is “wealth”, and “what it means to be a good person”. But I have come to realize that this is not all of it, because it’s too broad. It’s also too vague. It’s too fragile because it can all be lost. And with things like these; it usually requires just a bit of time until the insight comes to mind. So that’s what I did: I gave things some time.
There just has to be something that’s more important than wealth, and I think that I know what it is: it’s the belief that the world is a place of abundance. This means that there is more than enough food available for everyone. This means that there is enough land and resources to build a big ass house. This means that there are endless opportunities, and you can just take a pick. It means that having failed at something isn’t the end, but there are new opportunities around every corner. It means life is ultimately supposed to be good, enjoyable and easy.
This doesn’t mean that you will get it all served to you. Because you will still need to go out there. You will still need to do the Hard Work. You will still need to grind. You will still have sleepless nights because you aren’t there yet. You will still need to figure out your edge, as well as the one thing that will keep you going. You will still need to play the long game. You will still need to be patient. You will still need to take the beatings where you try a hundred times, and you will only have a few successes that you can put under your belt.
The world as a place of abundance just means that there are enough opportunities for everyone. The world is big enough. The world has enough to offer. It’s just a matter of time until you have figured out what is uniquely yours. Until you can claim your stake, and hold on to it for deer life as you move on from opportunity to opportunity. It’s all about finding the thing works, and to create leverage.
And if you keep all of this in the back of your mind; that the world is a place of abundance, then you are ten steps ahead of everyone else. And then it’s just a matter of time before you are where you are supposed to be. Because if the world is a place of abundance, then you will just start things and see where it leads. You will not doubt, overthink and put up roadblocks. You will just go, because you just unapologetically believe that it has to be out there. You just have to grind and go do the Hard Work, to charge on against everything else. People will look at you and think you are crazy, but you know better, you are on a mission, and deep down you just believe that it’s all just a matter of time before everything falls into place.
And then one day you will succeed, you will be at the top of the hill, you will look around, and you will be amazed at the life that you will have built for yourself. That’s when you sit back and think: yes, it really is a place of abundance. Now ain’t that something?
There is only one person that truly matters in the end, and that’s you. Because you are the one that you have to put up with at the end of the day. If you are doing well, then all the rest falls into place. And it may not seem “likable” or “right” to say this but we’re all motivated by what makes us feel good.
Even the most caring person that you know ultimately does this because they “feel good about it”. Feeling good about yourself is what keeps you going. You need ambitions, sure. You need to chip away at something. You need to get bigger, get stronger, you need to evolve, you need all of these things. But if you can’t feel good about yourself then you will not be able to do any of those things.
More than anything else, the way that you see yourself has to do with the way that you “see” what you did in the past. The trick is simple: feel better about your past, feel better about yourself. It’s sometimes referred to as “building a relationship with your past”, and there is something to it. It means that it takes constant work, care and it needs to have a purpose. If you manage to build that relationship in such a way that it makes you feel better in the present, then you are golden.
It hooks in with one of my other favorites, and that’s the “narrative identity”. The way that you see yourself has to do with the “stories that you tell yourself”. If you have a better story of your past, then you will feel greatly better about the present. What I like especially about the “narrative identity” is that it is rooted in the past, but it is aimed at the future. The “narrative”-part implies that it’s an ongoing process, and if you can forge that process towards a certain direction then it becomes a sort of fly-wheel that keeps on spinning, almost by itself.
So to begin, start with principle 1:
Combine this with “building a relationship with your past”, then hook in the “narrative identity” and you are well on your way to feeling better about yourself. Add some exercise, healthy diet, sensible sleep-rhythm, nurturing the best possible relationship with your wife and kids, and well then one day it’s just like booooooom: your life is way better. Now ain’t that something?
Some years ago there was this statistic that popped up: most people end up living close to where they grew up. There is just something about it that “sticks” and it’s almost in the same vein as that a lot of “luck” is involved as to where you were born. But this is very different from the “loyalty” to a location.
One of the hardest things that I ever did was to move abroad, and to decide to stay abroad for a longer period of time. My main “reason” for staying here was that in life there always has to be a “bigger opportunity”. Without a leap forward, it makes very little sense to return to something that may no longer be there.
But there’s still something about this statistic. Because where you live has a definite impact on your life trajectory. If you manage to surround yourself with like-minded people then your trajectory will be more steep and your life will be better. It’s as simple as that.
But it’s also hard to leave the things behind that you have known your whole life. But is that enough of a reason not to do things? Isn’t it the other way around: in that you should do things exactly because they are hard? Because the hard things are those that will get you to excel and get the best out of “you”.
If you take it to the next level, then it becomes even more obvious. Let’s say that you live in a place with low employment, drug abuse and overall misery. Then leaving should be easier. But in fact it may just be way harder. The “pull” might be stronger than what's keeping you from moving forward. And moving someplace else.
But I do get it. The longer you stay, the deeper the roots, the more you think you will “loose” if you decide to forge another path. But if you have an itch, then you owe it to yourself to explore it. And if there’s no “big opportunity”, then you will have to wait for a “fat pitch”. And when you got your sails up, when you are looking around, ready for opportunities, then you may just find out that everything was relative all along. The “big thing” that you were holding on to isn’t a sacrifice, but it will always be there and you can just go ahead, feeling good about it. When moving forward, there needs to be an indication that things will work out. Without it, mann, just hang on a little while longer.
