Do the right thing, not the easy

In life we are always inclined to play it safe, and to do what is easy. There was this statistic a minute ago that even gather-hunter-societies spend most of their time sitting down. Taking it easy (or maybe taking a rest as well).

I think that to a very large extent this has to do with our cultural programming. And I heard it put the best way last week in terms of failure-tolerance: Americans have a high tolerance of failure (“well, at least you tried!), versus Europeans who have a low tolerance of failure (“you should have stayed in your lane ;-).

And this is so true, and it has taken me so long to get over this, and to actually recognize that this is what was going on. But also that so much of it is bs to begin with.

When I started working towards realizing my “moon-shots”, doing the “wild” stuff that I would really want to spend my life on—a large part of the reason for doing it the way that I did (basically besides my paid job), als has to do with this same principle. And now that I have a family to run, I am becoming even more risk-adverse, and am even less willing to put it all on the line for “what I truly believe in”.

But there is also a very subtle shift going on here: because grinding 40 hours for a pay-check, and 20 for my “moon-shots” does guarantee a financially easy life. And that is really something that I want my kids to have. They may be too small now to really see it, but when they get a little older they will really pick up on who is “well off”, versus who is “struggling”.

But I’m also a firm believer in “naming it then taming it”. So I have been taking risks for a decade, and no I haven’t made it big yet. The first time around I was pretty worried that trying things out would hurt my reputation, but the reality was that no one really seemed to care. This was a huge eye-opener, and also a way to get easier on myself: yes, I can try things out, and yes I will fail many times, but there is still this little voice in the back of my head that keeps on telling me that there “has to be a way” (or my other favorite: “this ain’t my finest hour just yet”).

So that’s more or less the reason why I keep on grinding hard. I want a good life now (not necessarily easy), and I want a better life in the future. I think that by grinding in the present, you increase the likelihood of a better life in the future. And that’s sort of what I picked up on over the years: “an easy life is actually harder”.

If you are struggling financially, then there is always this very subtle stressor in the back of your mind. And there are these statistics that kids who grow up in a poor household have “higher blood-pressure”, and I can imagine the same for adults. On top of that, being struggling financially also means you can’t do less fun things, and that you basically have a “lower quality of life”.

But it’s even bigger than that (it always has to be!). In life we have to live up to our own standards, our own code. If you can’t feel good about the person that you see in the mirror, then you have failed miserably. So if you manage to feel good and better about yourself and what you are doing, then this will spread out to the people around you . You will be a better spouse, a better parent, a better friend, inn short; a better person.

And then everything will sort of fall into place. Confidence. Reputation. Respect. Admiration. All that good stuff that is so hard to acquire, and then when you do all this, when you grind hard, when you keep going, when you play the long game, then booooooooom: it’s all right there. Like it just fell into your lap. Now, ain’t that something?