Heft is what you need.

Heft is the four letter word that I wish I knew before the age of 30. It’s sometimes referred to as “heavy presence”, but that is cutting it short because it implies that others need to be present. Heft is about the feeling that you’re not easily thrown off balance (emotionally or physically). It’s close to that statement of Nietzsche, that “excess of strength is the only proof of strength”.

It’s about a possibility, but not the thing itself. It’s about that notion that every man has to some extent—-it’s that feeling that you can take on about 90% of the people you come across, either head on or by out-foxing. Of the other 10, you may decide to become friends with half of them and the other half you plain out avoid.

Heft is a sort of illusion that you carry within. And I always believe that it’s good to tell yourself “little lies” that are not true, so that you have something to live up to. This truly is the sort of healthy illusion that can carry you places. Heft will give you confidence, and it will result in people approaching you in a certain way. The approach is not of an equal, but what can be very powerful in the right situation. There will be certain people who will approach you with a certain trepidation and fear.

The way to get heft to an extent is just about “deciding” that it is something you want to have. It’s also the result of a “lived experience”, and the way that you handled those situations. So this is also about “deciding” to put yourself in certain situations that will allow you to get “rough and tough”.

And what made a huge difference for me personally is asking myself questions like “is this big enough?”, “how will this make me look?”, “how do I win this war?”, “is this the best use of my time?”, “am I performing at max capacity?”. Questions like these will not just help you to figure out where you stand, but also what you’re made of.

And maybe out of all of them “is it big enough?” is the key question. Because I believe that life should always move forward. The next project should always be bigger and more complex than the one before. If it isn’t then it’s time to do something else. And if you just realize that heft is something that you acquire over the years, then you will actually end up with more of it because you simply want it (if that makes sense). And that is exactly what “heft” will get you, if you manage to harness its potential.