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So much of what we do or don’t do simply doesn’t happen because of “how it makes us look” or “what other people think”. We all want what’s out there in the world to be the “absolute best”, but the simple fact of the matter is that this isn’t what life is all about.

People care way less than you may think.

Try it. Upload a video to a new channel. Nothing happens.

The fact of the matter is just that you can just go out and try different things. If it ain’t perfect: don’t worry. If it’s meant to be good, then people will pick up on it in the “crappiest version”.

It ain’t about perfection. That can come later.

This is about trying things out. It’s about coloring outside of the lines. This is about going to the excess, to go the extreme, to figure out where things will bend.

And then you know.

Sometimes that’s all there is to it. Sometimes you just have to find out.

Hit the wall.

Try again.

Hit another wall.

Try again.

But learn from it. Make small progress each time, and then you will find out after some time that one of the things that you “put out there”. That it actually works. And they all say that you shouldn’t do it for validation, but man does it feel good. And none of it would have happened if you didn’t get started in the first place.

So just go and do it. Just start. See where it leads. See what happens. And the worst that can happen is that you figure out what doesn’t work. And then you do the opposite. Then you do what does work. And you keep doing it. And you do more of it. And then one day, you got something. You got a fly-wheel, that will keep on spinning, and that’s when you backpedal, try new things, because it feels good, it gives you that rush, and there ain’t nothing quite like it. And that’s when you have found your groove. Now ain’t that something?

World as a place of abundance

Forget about mind-set, strategies, protocols, principles, key questions, long-term ambitions, “moon-shots”, missions, and all of those things. There is a place and time, but it only makes sense once you are able to put all of it in the right frame of mind. There needs to be a bigger idea that ties everything else together. The sort of idea that is easy to understand, but that puts everything in a brighter light. It’s because we lose track when it all gets way too complicated, and to an extent it’s all over-thinking a lot of things that are essentially simple.

And I have been thinking a lot about this lately, because it has to do with where you are right now, but also where you want to start when you build your empire———that’s where all this becomes ultra-important, and I thought the greatest thing to pass down is “wealth”, and “what it means to be a good person”. But I have come to realize that this is not all of it, because it’s too broad. It’s also too vague. It’s too fragile because it can all be lost. And with things like these; it usually requires just a bit of time until the insight comes to mind. So that’s what I did: I gave things some time.

There just has to be something that’s more important than wealth, and I think that I know what it is: it’s the belief that the world is a place of abundance. This means that there is more than enough food available for everyone. This means that there is enough land and resources to build a big ass house. This means that there are endless opportunities, and you can just take a pick. It means that having failed at something isn’t the end, but there are new opportunities around every corner. It means life is ultimately supposed to be good, enjoyable and easy.

This doesn’t mean that you will get it all served to you. Because you will still need to go out there. You will still need to do the Hard Work. You will still need to grind. You will still have sleepless nights because you aren’t there yet. You will still need to figure out your edge, as well as the one thing that will keep you going. You will still need to play the long game. You will still need to be patient. You will still need to take the beatings where you try a hundred times, and you will only have a few successes that you can put under your belt.

The world as a place of abundance just means that there are enough opportunities for everyone. The world is big enough. The world has enough to offer. It’s just a matter of time until you have figured out what is uniquely yours. Until you can claim your stake, and hold on to it for deer life as you move on from opportunity to opportunity. It’s all about finding the thing works, and to create leverage.

And if you keep all of this in the back of your mind; that the world is a place of abundance, then you are ten steps ahead of everyone else. And then it’s just a matter of time before you are where you are supposed to be. Because if the world is a place of abundance, then you will just start things and see where it leads. You will not doubt, overthink and put up roadblocks. You will just go, because you just unapologetically believe that it has to be out there. You just have to grind and go do the Hard Work, to charge on against everything else. People will look at you and think you are crazy, but you know better, you are on a mission, and deep down you just believe that it’s all just a matter of time before everything falls into place.

And then one day you will succeed, you will be at the top of the hill, you will look around, and you will be amazed at the life that you will have built for yourself. That’s when you sit back and think: yes, it really is a place of abundance. Now ain’t that something?

Build a relationship with your past

There is only one person that truly matters in the end, and that’s you. Because you are the one that you have to put up with at the end of the day. If you are doing well, then all the rest falls into place. And it may not seem “likable” or “right” to say this but we’re all motivated by what makes us feel good.

Even the most caring person that you know ultimately does this because they “feel good about it”. Feeling good about yourself is what keeps you going. You need ambitions, sure. You need to chip away at something. You need to get bigger, get stronger, you need to evolve, you need all of these things. But if you can’t feel good about yourself then you will not be able to do any of those things.

More than anything else, the way that you see yourself has to do with the way that you “see” what you did in the past. The trick is simple: feel better about your past, feel better about yourself. It’s sometimes referred to as “building a relationship with your past”, and there is something to it. It means that it takes constant work, care and it needs to have a purpose. If you manage to build that relationship in such a way that it makes you feel better in the present, then you are golden.

It hooks in with one of my other favorites, and that’s the “narrative identity”. The way that you see yourself has to do with the “stories that you tell yourself”. If you have a better story of your past, then you will feel greatly better about the present. What I like especially about the “narrative identity” is that it is rooted in the past, but it is aimed at the future. The “narrative”-part implies that it’s an ongoing process, and if you can forge that process towards a certain direction then it becomes a sort of fly-wheel that keeps on spinning, almost by itself.

So to begin, start with principle 1:

Combine this with “building a relationship with your past”, then hook in the “narrative identity” and you are well on your way to feeling better about yourself. Add some exercise, healthy diet, sensible sleep-rhythm, nurturing the best possible relationship with your wife and kids, and well then one day it’s just like booooooom: your life is way better. Now ain’t that something?

Location Loyalty.

Some years ago there was this statistic that popped up: most people end up living close to where they grew up. There is just something about it that “sticks” and it’s almost in the same vein as that a lot of “luck” is involved as to where you were born. But this is very different from the “loyalty” to a location.

One of the hardest things that I ever did was to move abroad, and to decide to stay abroad for a longer period of time. My main “reason” for staying here was that in life there always has to be a “bigger opportunity”. Without a leap forward, it makes very little sense to return to something that may no longer be there.

But there’s still something about this statistic. Because where you live has a definite impact on your life trajectory. If you manage to surround yourself with like-minded people then your trajectory will be more steep and your life will be better. It’s as simple as that.

But it’s also hard to leave the things behind that you have known your whole life. But is that enough of a reason not to do things? Isn’t it the other way around: in that you should do things exactly because they are hard? Because the hard things are those that will get you to excel and get the best out of “you”.

If you take it to the next level, then it becomes even more obvious. Let’s say that you live in a place with low employment, drug abuse and overall misery. Then leaving should be easier. But in fact it may just be way harder. The “pull” might be stronger than what's keeping you from moving forward. And moving someplace else.

But I do get it. The longer you stay, the deeper the roots, the more you think you will “loose” if you decide to forge another path. But if you have an itch, then you owe it to yourself to explore it. And if there’s no “big opportunity”, then you will have to wait for a “fat pitch”. And when you got your sails up, when you are looking around, ready for opportunities, then you may just find out that everything was relative all along. The “big thing” that you were holding on to isn’t a sacrifice, but it will always be there and you can just go ahead, feeling good about it. When moving forward, there needs to be an indication that things will work out. Without it, mann, just hang on a little while longer.

Where to direct your energies

Great things can be borne out of frustration, or they may never see the light of day. Deep frustration can be a force of creation, if you let. It can also go the other way, and turn into bitterness, regret and the realm of lost opportunities.

What you let it do is up to you. If you let it consume you, it will be the end of you. If you channel it towards the future, then it can be the fuel that will get you to the moon. 

And yes, I’m fully aware of equity, that bad things have happened to you, that you had it tough, that it was unfair and all of that. There is a time and place for that. You can lick your wounds. It will help to heal. 

But once the wounds are dry, then you have to do the most badass thing possible: and that is to go out there, to go harder than you ever went before, to dig deeper, and to forge a path were none existed. 

Your “deep frustration” will be your strength, it will be what will be your “super-power” until you have put a fly-wheel together. And by that time, well, then you will forgotten all about your frustration, and all that you to do then is to ride the big fat wave. And ride it well. Ride it as hard as you can, as far as you can, and for as long as you can.

This is my super-power, because I force myself to direct my “frustrations” (we all have them, I’m no different from you!). I think about it during “worry-time”, during the odd mornings or moments that I can dedicate to “coffee and contemplation”. 

Then I think about it some more during a work-out, or when it feels like the boulder that I’m pushing to the top of the hill—----that it will never get there. That’s when I dig in, that’s when I dig deep, that’s when I tell myself that this is my super-power, that this is my “little secret”, and that this will be what will get me to accomplish everything that I want out of the future for me and my family.

It’s all there, and it’s all there for the take. Life is a positive-sum game. Meaning: everyone can win, according to their terms. It’s like the rising tide that lifts all boats. It’s about having you sail up when there’s a huge gust of wind. It’s all of those things. And it’s up to you to take advantage of all of this, but the way to get there is to “direct” your “energies” and “frustrations” (actually, they are the same thing!). And then, boooooooom, a few years down, and your life looks totally different. Now, ain’t that something!? 

 

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Nothing like a good default.

Optimizing life and all that are a dread, and vastly overrated. Not so much because there is nothing to it. But more so because there isn’t that much that has to be said about the matter. If you got your life figured out then all the rest (“productivity”) will sort of fall into place.

I’m not much for listicles, rigid protocols and all that. But strategies, and grand ideas: tell me more. So for a strategy to work, it has to be simple. Meaning, it has to be as simple as possible, and still work.

That’s why I always like to think in terms of if it’s not a “yes yes yes”, then the answer is “no”. And sort of in line with that is my more general take on activities: if it’s not a “yes yes yes”, then I just tend to go to the “default”.

The “default” is the thing that you have done a million times. It’s what always works. It may not be what will give you big results, but it will get the ball rolling.

The “default” is what I apply to food, sports, relaxation, and time-slots to chip away at my “moon-shots”. So for breakfast if I’m in a rush: default is oats + apples. Default for exercise when I want to move but the weather ain’t all that: calisthenics in the yard. Default for relaxation: yt, in the afternoon with a few shots of espresso. Default for “moon-shots”: continue where I left off, resist the temptation to “read things over” or to “come up with ideas”.

Then once I find my groove doing the default, then it’s time to go “deep” and to double down. It’s at the times that come after the default that the truly remarkable stuff happens. That’s why I always try to chip away or do one remarkable thing that contributes to the larger mission. Every day. And what makes this do-able is that I always start from the “default”. Then on the day of R&R I let go of all of it and I relax, slow down, do other things, reflect, contemplate and “get perspective”.

Heft is what you need.

Heft is the four letter word that I wish I knew before the age of 30. It’s sometimes referred to as “heavy presence”, but that is cutting it short because it implies that others need to be present. Heft is about the feeling that you’re not easily thrown off balance (emotionally or physically). It’s close to that statement of Nietzsche, that “excess of strength is the only proof of strength”.

It’s about a possibility, but not the thing itself. It’s about that notion that every man has to some extent—-it’s that feeling that you can take on about 90% of the people you come across, either head on or by out-foxing. Of the other 10, you may decide to become friends with half of them and the other half you plain out avoid.

Heft is a sort of illusion that you carry within. And I always believe that it’s good to tell yourself “little lies” that are not true, so that you have something to live up to. This truly is the sort of healthy illusion that can carry you places. Heft will give you confidence, and it will result in people approaching you in a certain way. The approach is not of an equal, but what can be very powerful in the right situation. There will be certain people who will approach you with a certain trepidation and fear.

The way to get heft to an extent is just about “deciding” that it is something you want to have. It’s also the result of a “lived experience”, and the way that you handled those situations. So this is also about “deciding” to put yourself in certain situations that will allow you to get “rough and tough”.

And what made a huge difference for me personally is asking myself questions like “is this big enough?”, “how will this make me look?”, “how do I win this war?”, “is this the best use of my time?”, “am I performing at max capacity?”. Questions like these will not just help you to figure out where you stand, but also what you’re made of.

And maybe out of all of them “is it big enough?” is the key question. Because I believe that life should always move forward. The next project should always be bigger and more complex than the one before. If it isn’t then it’s time to do something else. And if you just realize that heft is something that you acquire over the years, then you will actually end up with more of it because you simply want it (if that makes sense). And that is exactly what “heft” will get you, if you manage to harness its potential.