In the fall of '23 I pulled the plug of figuring out a good niche for yt, because it was obvious where I would get both views and in a niche that I actually enjoyed (woodwork + building stuff). So between the fall of '23 and the summer of '24 I did two things
1) I filmed all the projects that I could, so I could have a good momentum for the launch in August of '24.
2) I spent way too much time on strategy and "planning all the way to the end".
But it was during that time that I figured that my moat would be "me + content with my kids". But what I hadn't counted on was how hard it actually is to create content with kids, because if they are not totally in it----then it's not gonna work.
So that's what makes me "extra proud" of the video that I made public yesterday. It's exactly what I had in mind when I started getting serious, and it's also extremely hard to pull off consistently. So that's what makes this special. And, I genuinely enjoyed the time that I spent making this with my son.
The main channel has slowed down a bit for two reasons:
1) Life has caught up a bit, and I haven't been able to move as fast with my "online effort" as I would like. (kids were sick a couple days, including three yt-days).
2) I had one video that just didn't take off, so I started analyzing that against a video that did extremely well. So I took it down, went heavy on the edit for the next one. But it took more time.
So over Christmas I will reflect more on "everything", but my current take is that I will have to concentrate on projects for the main channel that I can complete within one day. It will make it easier to not fall behind when I will not be able to do any work on the yt-day.
I am proud though of this next video on the 2nd channel. When I uploaded it I felt like it was a bit "extreme", but now looking at it once it's actually online----it's solid.
The end of October marked two months of dedicating one full day to yt. I wanted to document my feeling, so that's what I did in this video. Most of the feeling is that I feel good in the moment right now, and I expect that I will look back on all this a year from now----and then I will be like "why didn't I do this earlier?".
One of the things that I have to work on is my camera presence. What is hard for me right now is to "talk to get a complex idea across". When things are simple, no problemo, but where it gets interesting I realize that I simply don't have the practice. So that's why, as I'm evolving this format, I'm editing out a lot of stuff.
But what I want to work towards is to just hit record, and to have a clean enough copy that I can just upload without too much editing. So that's where this prep doc comes in. What I try to do with it is to prepare the emotion that I want to communicate, and also the big ideas. It's evolving as always, but it's where it's at right now. The video of this one will be public on Tuesday.
I was watching a podcast a week ago, and there was this question: "How do you decide what to do next?". The answer was "I just create what's cool to me, and sometimes the world agrees." And this is so true, because to make something that resonates with people "your heart needs to be in it". If it's not something that you're at least a bit excited about, then it's simply not going to work.
So that's my take with this video: I just wanted to see if I could pull this off (make a wood ball). I was excited about trying it out, and I will just see "if the world agrees with me".
One thing that I may need to reconsider: I posted 3 shorts very closely around posting this main video, but now the analytics show that it's not being pushed out.
I have been playing around with the same format since the summer, so it's time for a shake-up. That's what a storm is about, so that is the perfect in between. I wish I taped some content of the storm itself, but unfortunately I didn't. But what I do have is some footage of me cutting up some branches after the fact.
Starting next week I will shake up the format: it will start with an intro in the same style as the videos since the summer, but then I then I will throw in a story that I threw together in the moment. I want to get better at this way of story-telling, because that's a skill that I want to develop (so the ability to figure out ideas, while telling an impromptu story and mixing in elements from my personal life).
A while ago I added a skeleton to a cheap cabinet, and some time later I had two cheap cabinets of which one door each fell off. I'm done with cheap cabinets, but sometimes you need a lot of stuff and there is no better choice.
So I made this video fixing the doors. What I like about it is the fact that I tried something new (cutting a rim in a thin piece of wood). Also, it started to rain very softly throughout, which is a rarity where I live.
In May I shot the first vid in which my oldest son Teake was taking part as well. It was big for me, because at the time I was aiming for something in the middle of "Outdoor Boys", "Quiet Nerd" and what I would in general call family content.
Maybe I will come back to that later on, but moving forward it will mostly be me starring in the videos. I don't want to force my kids too much towards the things that I'm passionate about. But sometimes, the kids will be in there in the future as well.
This week I took my family on a three day vacation. It was the best, because we all had a good time + the 10 weeks between the summer and October are always the busiest of the year. We were basically eating, swimming, resting and hanging out at the playground. On the tv they were blasting a series about living in Alaska, and that for me was the perfect backdrop to "zero-think". I reflected a bit on everything; these are my take-aways as it comes to my "journey towards establishing online income":
1) instead of twitter, I will use my blog to post updates, thoughts and ideas. I started calling my blog "the nexus of Jelmer's world", so I should be treating it as such as well.
2) I want to work towards releasing weekly videos on both the main channel and the 2nd channel. It will be do-able if I manage my time wisely.
3) The 2nd channel will not just about my "ideas", but I will literally start showing certain aspects of my life. But, my family I will deliberately keep them out of it.
I released this video last week Friday at 3pm local time. It's one of the things that I had to fix around the house anyway, so I figured this might be nice content to watch + educational if you ever find yourself in the situation where you will have to fix a wheelbarrow yourself.
Currently I can manage to release 3 videos a month on the main channel, but I'm trying to figure out a strategy to release weekly videos. What I'm considering is to add small wood toys that are pretty easy to make (that would be the 4th video), as well as a monthly "look behind the scenes". I think this will be manageable with the time that I currently have, and I think it will also be good to boost the channel (based on past experiences when I was just "throwing stuff at it").
Note to self: I think this vid is okay, but it lacks some "jokes", "talks" and "quirky stuff". So this will be part of the 1% improvement, moving forward.
One of the truly unexpected things about “wanting more out of life” is that it sometimes feels like you should apologize for ambition. It’s so weird because ambition is the stuff that we generally admire, but maybe deep down we feel that we should hide it from the world because it also instills fear and trembling in those around us.
The sort of fear that the other person will not remain as they are.
The sort of fear that the other person can’t be as easily controlled as before.
The sort of fear that the other person will become powerful.
The sort of fear that the other person will outgrow and leave everything behind.
And this is almost silly if you think about it, because this is one of the most primal ideas at its core: adapt or die. Because without ambition it’s just a matter of time before you will become irrelevant. And that’s why it in no way means that you should let it control you.
Because it's the reason why you should always pursue your ambitions.
And it’s all in line with the stuff that you should never ever do.
Never ever apologize for wanting more.
Never ever apologize for wanting to get bigger and better than you ever were before.
Never ever apologize for wanting a better life.
Never ever apologize for shooting for the moon.
And that’s why you should never ever deny your ambitions, and that’s why you should never abandon your missions.
You only have one life to live, and you better live it well.
Because Ultimately it’s totally irrelevant what other people think.
So if you are being kept back: leave.
If you ain’t getting what you need: leave.
If you are not getting the energy you need to get excited: leave.
If you are not part of a tribe that is on a similar mission as you: leave.
Because you should leave people behind who are not in line with what you’re after.
It’s as simple as that.
And you might think something like “yeah, but, well…” No!
Because ultimately the most important and most fulfilling thing always comes down to pursuing ambitions, to forge a path and to boldly live the life that’s uniquely yours.
Because the fact of the matter is that you will meet interesting people along the way.
Even though it may be lonely for a while, it will not always be that way.
There will always be people who vibe with similar things as you.
And some of them will stick around shortly, and others will be there for a longer time.
Life has always been like that, and you shouldn’t shy away from it but embrace it.
It’s adapt or die, and your ambitions are just an extension of that.
So you have to pursue your ambitions. You don’t just owe it to yourself, but you owe it also to the world, because ultimately, if your ambition is right, it will contribute to making the world a better place. And that means that you will do your small part to advance the human cause. Now ain’t that something?
There is this notion out there that talent is the big deciding factor that will determine how far you will get in life. And it’s one of the great myths that we all sort of grew up with, until you start looking at the world around you and you realize that there are so many things that we take as facts, but which in reality function as restraints because they keep us back.
Sure, a bit of talent helps.
But it’s also over-rated, because it comes cheap.
It’s just there and you don’t need to work for it.
It’s the 1 percent, and all the rest is Hard Work and Working Hard.
And this really takes a while to wrap your head around, because it’s so easy to just believe that someone just “got the talent”, or even worse, to say that someone just “got lucky”. Both of these are just excuses that sort of explain away why it “would never happen to you”.
Well, that ends today.
Because luck is something that you can feed into. And this means that you can use this to your advantage to get leverage. Because “Being lucky” will be the latest addition to your war chest.
The secret is that “Being lucky” is a tool.
It’s a way of looking at yourself.
And it’s a way of approaching new situations.
Because if you see yourself as a lucky person then that will feed into the rest of your life. It may get you to think that things just go your way, but what actually happens is that it will get you to take more action, to look at things differently, to look for opportunities and to forge a path where none exists. Because seeing yourself as a lucky person is just a proxy for bias for action, it will make you pro-active and turn you into the go-getter that you always wanted to be.
And all of that ties into being totally obsessed to the point where it’s top of mind at all times. This is where you wake up in the morning, and your obsession is the first thing you think about. It’s where it’s the last thing you think about before going to bed, and every free moment when you’re not taking care of your business, your family, your house, your chores, your job: it’s your obsession that you relax with, your obsession is where you pour your energy into, your obsession is your way of realizing a better future for you and your family.
And people will not get it that you’re not up to speed on certain things. They might not get it that you don’t care about a big game, and don’t know all the ins and outs of the big players, they don’t get it that you don’t really care about the news, that there are so many things that other people just do for fun that you just don’t do. Because if you’re obsessed about something you limit your scope to just that thing. And this will be your secret weapon.
Because it truly is the only way to really make a move on anything. Because if you strike the right balance, where you’re obsessed, where you’re clear on your mission, where you can dedicate time and energy, while you still maintain a good relationship with your wife and kids, then you are well on your way to realize great things.
It’s then that hours don’t matter, and it’s then that you will achieve far more in a few months than what others will accomplish in a few years. It’s then that you will blast straight through talent and luck, and instead you lean into action, you will be getting things done and you will be getting what’s yours.
But you have to do one thing that will enable you to do all of this: you will have to be clear on your obsession. If you can’t put it in two or three words and literally see and feel the thing before you, then you don’t have a proper obsession yet. If it takes you more than a few sentences, then it means that you need to hone down, it means that you need to lean in, and to just cut out all the unnecessary stuff. And you will have to be relentless until you’re left with the bare minimum. And what you are left with is something to truly obsess over.
But you have to be cautious as well: when you roll like this for a while, there ain’t no turning back. You will not want to live without a proper obsession for the rest of your life. Because you will find out that it will give you the spark in your belly that you had when you were way younger, and everything was exciting because it was all still very new. Well, this will get your spark back, and it will get you to go further than anything else has ever done before. Now ain’t that something?
One of the greatest things that you can do to propel yourself forward is to reinvent yourself.
It’s the ability to tear everything down.
It’s about questioning every protocol, every life-style habit, every relationship, every characteristic that made you “you” until that point in time.
It’s about going back to zero.
It’s about doing so with the heft of a lived life, and then to use that as a sling-shot towards realizing great things.
And this is hard. And this is against human nature. This is against our innate habit to accumulate stuff around us. This is about cutting things out. This is about being relentless. This is about rewriting your past. This is about re-imagining your future.
And the only way to do that is to start with a clean slate.
So that’s why you can’t do this while you’re “in it”.
You can’t do this while you roll with your current crowd, while you do the things that you always did, while you move and shake like you have always done.
To clean the slate, you will have to disappear.
You will have to go at it alone.
You will have to go to your core.
Because this is the only way that you can come back stronger than ever.
And people will start to wonder: where is he? Did he dig a hole that he can’t come out of? Did he loose himself? Did he loose his mind?
It doesn’t matter. Because what other people may think ultimately isn’t the stuff that you should be worried about.
Except for this: the moment when you return to the stage.
Because that’s when people start talking about the ways at which you “turned your life around”. And it’s then that people will start to wonder: how did he do it? And that’s when you will leave them guessing. You do this to maintain the enigma. You do this to build your power. You do this to up your game. And then whatever the new thing is that you do: this is the new you. You did come roaring back. You have obliterated the old you. And now you have become bigger and better than ever before. Now ain’t that something?
This is the secret to getting further than most: just never give up.
It’s the secret to getting further than those who are smarter than you, who have more money than you, and who are better connected than you.
Just never give up.
That’s the secret.
Because there will be times when you are tired, when you question whether it’s “all worth it”, when you question whether you got what it takes. And when you wonder if it’s “meant to be”.
We all have those experiences from time to time, but that in no way means that you should just give in. It in no way means that you are not doing “what you are supposed to do”. It simply means that this is a moment when the seed of doubt can be planted. Because that’s the real enemy. You can't doubt yourself to get where you want to be. So it’s up to you to say: never—-no. No way.
Never give up.
You will come across people who are smarter than you. Who had it easy when they grew up. Who went to the right schools. Who scored the right credentials. Who had the right group of people around them. But they never really made much of themselves. Why? They gave up.
And you will also notice it the other way. The folks who start with way less than you. Who had it hard. Who had it tough. Who started with disadvantages back, front, center, in and out. And they are way further in life than you were at a similar age. They may have the drive. Sure. But they also did one thing: they just never gave up.
And that’s just how it is when it comes to the big stuff: just never give up.
Just never ever give up.
Just don’t do it.
Because no matter how big your ambition, or how tough your journey, the fact of the matter is that the only obstacle between where you are now, and where you want to be, is simple grit, perseverance, endurance and just wanting “the thing” more than anything else in the world. It’s about doing the thing, and doing it again, and again, and again.
It’s about pushing through.
Because never ever giving up is what separates you from everyone else.
Never ever giving up is what will make you exceptional.
Because the simple fact of the matter is that everything is hard.
Especially when you start.
And every journey worth taking has huge obstacles that you thought you would never get around.
Because every journey worth taking has vast parts of it which are foggy, hazy, and it feels like you are moving into uncharted territory—-because you are.
And it’s scary. Sure. And it’s lonesome. And sometimes you may not know exactly what you should do. And it may feel like you will never get to where you want to be.
So you push through.
You keep going.
No matter what.
Because what’s the alternative?
There is no alternative.
Because that is what separates you from everyone else: you simply never give up.
And then you roll like this for a while. And then you don’t even have to tell yourself these things anymore. It’s then that you have become a machine that’s just “in motion”. And all you have to do then is to give it enough time. Because if you add “time” to “never ever give up”, then you got the secret figured out to really get anywhere in life. Now ain’t that something?
One of the big “mysteries” is why some people crumble under pressure, and others thrive. It seems that some people just freeze and lose all ability to act in any reasonable capacity. Then there are others who suck it up, they want the pressure, they want to be pushed in the corner. They need constant pressure in order to survive. This is you. This is the new you.
You need the wolf at the door.
You need to hear it growl.
You need the fear of hearing it howl at night.
You need for it to show its teeth.
You need its claws scraping on the front door.
You need the wolf to ram the door.
You need it hungry.
You need it ready for bloodshed.
You need its shadow on the wall under a blood red moon.
You need it to get ready. You need what makes others crumble. You need to be stressed out of your mind, heart pounding, knees buckling. You need more fear than most can take. You need to be inches away from your breaking point.
You need it to build a wall. To build a fortress. To build a moat. To put together an offense. To fill a war chest. To get so strong and so powerful that nothing can get through.
You need the wolf at the door.
You need the pain, the fear, the urgency.
You need to prove everyone wrong.
And that’s why this is the new you. If you can manage to live with a wolf at the door, while you have a hundred bucks, the rent is 300, the wife is pregnant, and the landlord is pounding at the door. If you can perform under this level of stress, then you can do it all.
And then when you have done it. When you did roll like this for a few years: you look back and you realize that you have been playing on hard mode all this time, and then you imagine the way at which you can dominate if you switch back to easy mode. And this is when everything finally falls into place. Now ain’t that something?
Sometimes you just have to go into uncharted territory. And to go boldly. And to keep on going when things get really tough. The easiest thing to do is always to turn tail and to go back to wherever you came from. It’s the easiest, and the option is always there, and that’s exactly why you should never do this.
The hardest things are usually also the most fulfilling, and if you manage to do something that’s really hard, and it’s something you enjoy and feel good about, then it just becomes obvious: then that is exactly what you should be doing.
But you will discover early on that these are rarely the sort of things you do with a group of people. Everything worthwhile will require some degree of going at it by yourself. This means that there is no one who is cheering you on. This means that you may have some indication that you are on the right track. But there is no certainty. There will be a little voice popping up in the back of your head that’s telling you that “it will ever work out”.
This means that you shouldn’t give in.
To give in is for the weak, and that ain’t you.
There will be these statements popping up about how most people give up “three feet before striking gold”, or you will see graphs that show a flat line and a little arrow pointing at “this is you” and then some indefinite time between that and striking it big.
And that’s where it’s really tough, and it’s really lonely. Because by that time you are at an intersection: you no longer really fit in with your old crowd, but you also don’t have the credentials to fit in with a new group of people. At this stage you are still a wannabe, no matter how hard you grind and keep going at it.
It will feel like every day is an uphill battle, and around every corner there is another obstacle that you couldn’t have anticipated. Even though you planned all the way to the end, you just end up doing the best that you can. And that little voice starts nagging again: is this enough? Do I have what it takes? Will this ever workout?
So you just keep on going, because it also feels like there is no turning back. And you keep going, and you keep going, and it will feel like it will never happen, and then you forget about thinking, you just keep on going.
And then a few years later, you take a minute, you look around at where you are at, and it’s then that you realize that you are right where you are supposed to be. Things did work out, and way bigger and way better than you ever imagined. Now ain’t that something?
One of the hardest things in life is to back-paddle, and to “reinvent” yourself. To let go of old ways and to go down a new path. The interesting thing is that you have to be cautious, much like with anything else in life.
There is a delicate balance between back-paddling and reinventing yourself, versus going too far back, and creating a disadvantage for yourself. And this is really something that you should realize for yourself before you are “in it”.
That’s why I initially thought that it all came down to this question:
“Is it big enough?”
It seems to be it, but it also feels like it’s cutting it a bit short. Because you can always sort of tell when something is a few steps back and a leap forward. That’s why I think the key is in the time-frame, that’s why I think the sub-text of this question is
“Will this give me leverage?”
Then if you put those two together, then you will have a good indication to determine whether you should move forward in a certain direction. This is part of the checks and balances where you really make up your mind on a course of action. The simple fact of the matter is just that time is always limited, but “things to do” are not. So that’s why you should always determine whether something is really worth your time and energy.
Questions like these will state what you probably already know “when you’re in it” or when you are about to “take a leap”. That’s at least what it was like for me: a while ago I thought that I was at a crossroads, and I was considering making a move but there was something that kept me back. It just “didn’t feel right”, and what it came down to were these two questions. It gave me the clarity of mind to abort and to go look for a better opportunity.
And it always boils down to this: it’s all about the long game.
And in a way it’s funny as well, once you realize that so much of “it” is about the long-game. But it takes time to be able to think not just in years, but in decades. What is hard still is that this means that you will have to wait from time to time, until there’s a huge opportunity. And those moments are rare, so be ready, have your sails up, because when the wind picks up you want to be ready to make a move. And when the time is right, everything sort of falls into place and it will seem like the most natural thing in the world. Now ain’t that something?
No one knows exactly what next year will bring. It’s the realm of fear, hopes and dreams. It’s what our ambition aims towards. It’s a shot in the dark. It’s about unmitigated belief more than anything else. It’s about taking massive action, and then reaping massive rewards. It’s all of those things.
But when you’re at the start of it: none of that matters.
You may have hopes, but it’s like thin air.
It’s hard to breathe if you exert yourself too much.
It’s like pushing the body, and then some.
And that’s why it’s hard.
And that’s exactly why we admire people who push through anyway.
When you start anything, the stuff that you should put all stock into is “massive belief”. It has to be so massive that it almost borders on delusion, while you try to accomplish the impossible, and those around you may think that you have lost your mind.
It’s at this time that you take massive action.
It’s at this time that it doesn’t really matter where you start, but the fact that you start is what it’s about.
It’s about the belief that “these are the motions”.
It’s about the belief that you are “in a process”
And it’s at this time that your “massive belief” intersects with “the process”.
It’s this feeling, when you pull another all nighter, when dawn is upon you, when a million souls go about their business, having their version of “having it together” and “having it all figured out”. It’s at that time that your “massive belief” doesn’t falter, but it’s at this time that you can only do one thing, and one thing alone: you can only trust the process.
Because there has to be a method to your madness.
There is no other way—----
Because—--
You go through the motions.
You made a plan.
You have a destination in mind.
You have some idea of what has to be done.
And part of you just “wills the thing into existence”.
All while another part of you studies the plan, studies the data, learns from the mistakes of others, gets inspired by others who went down a similar path as yours, and who made it big.
And it’s at this hour that you just have to do it: you just have to “trust the process”.
Because without “trust in the process” none of it will happen.
Without the reps you ain’t moving forward, you ain’t making progress, and you surely will not get to where you want to be.
And then before you know it, you're a few months in, then a year, then a few years, and the object of your obsession is slowly turning into a reality. You may not have achieved it all the way, but it’s getting there, there is data in support of this, you have achieved small wins, and all of that contributes to your massive believe that is acquiring critical mass, your name is getting out there, as well as a massive moat, and then a few years later you’re right where you were supposed to be. Now ain’t that something.
The easiest way to give away all your power is just to lay it all out in the open. No filter. No nothing. Anything that comes to mind you just sling out into the world. Until one day you realize that no one listens. No one cares. You don’t want to be this person.
But the fact of the matter is: most people are that person.
Because it takes cunning, skill, and understanding to play a different game. One where you build reputation not by what you do say, but by what you leave out. When you play the game like this, you create an enigma because no one will be able to exactly pin you down.
You leave little breadcrumbs. Little clues. You give hints, but no instructions. You give a direction, but no roadmap. And by doing this you will instill this question in the back of everyone’s mind: who is this?
And you will find out that this is the way to get attention, because then you are turning your public figure into something that’s larger than yourself. You become hard to pin down, and exactly because of that people will want to know: who is this?
But you have to be out there. People will have to be able to find you. They will have to be able to find some sort of resource, which will allow them to spend two hours getting to know you.
You will have to be deliberate about what you put out there. There will have to be some original thought. You will have to be a critical thinker. You will have to be aware of using as few words as possible to get your point across. You will have to have the ability to finish most of an idea, but not all. You will have to connect your ideas to some other ideas, but you will have to do so loosely.
After those two hours of going through the stuff that you put out there—-- they will feel like they got to know you, but just like the enigma that you created around yourself: they will feel like they know some, but not all. And that’s the way that you answer the question: who is this?
And then, after a few years of “building” like this, you look back and you realize that you learned more about yourself than you ever did before. You have transformed, you have become more interesting, and you have a better life because of it. Now ain’t that something?
One of the ways that I keep constant reminder in sight is literally asking questions: am I making progress? Am I in charge? Am I on task? It may seem almost silly to literally ask those sorts of questions, but it works for me. Because it’s a constant reminder. It’s a constant reminder of what is important—--not just to me personally, but more so to get the job done.
And you can think of variations, literally in the vein of the job: is the job done? Am I making progress? Am I doing the right thing? And you can think of variations in this vein, and I guarantee you that this will be extremely helpful once you are on a task.
What about the “way before”? What about that time when you have an idea to act on? When you have a dream of which you believe that you can turn it into a reality? What sort of question can you ask yourself then to get started, to build momentum, to build self-belief, to build confidence, and to build the conviction that you can do this.
So for the way before it’s more about imagining an inner dialogue, not just with yourself, but with a third person who is simply going to ask the question: why not you? And this is where you turn the whole inner dialogue into a pep-talk, and it’s highly effective if you do it well. It should be build partly on rationale, partly on blind belief, but the outcome has to be certain as it can be.
Because the question is: why not you? You got the brains, you can study the plan, you can grow immensely in the next couple of years, you can build a wall around your family. So why not you? Because you can set priorities, you can identify a fat pitch, you can ride a wave for as long and as hard as you possibly can, you can get eye-balls, you can get people excited, you can create something that people will want and need. So why not you?
Why not do the thing that you care deeply about. Why not just try to do it. No matter what, and no matter how small. Consider this: if you do something that you care deeply about, then you will be able to create your best work. You will be able to create something that truly matters. Not just to you, but also to other people. They will be able to pick up on it when you do your best work, and they will cheer you on for it.
You will just have to find the inner strength to keep on going before the fly-wheel has picked up speed. Before it has so much momentum that it can’t be stopped. And this is hard. This is the lonely hour, where you will doubt yourself, people will think that you are a fool, and they will think that you will run yourself into the ground.
And this is the hardest part. Because is where you will need blind belief that goes against what your brain might be telling you. This is where you grind and keep going up that hill, and where that small question will be a constant reminder: why not you? And it will turn into: it has to be you.
And then when you have gone through it. When you are on the other end. Then you will have forgotten all about it. You will have transformed, you will have built a better foundation for your family, and it will then be down the line again, that you get an itch, where you get “willing” to back-track and to reinvent yourself.
And that’s when it becomes relevant again, that’s when you start asking yourself: why not you? But by then it’s different: you no longer start from scratch, but you start from something that you built before. You start from the foundation that you build during your first grind.
And that’s the exact place where you want to be, because then you have turned your whole life into a fly-wheel that just keeps on going and going. You will grow, you will evolve, and your life will be way richer because of it. But you have to start somewhere. You have to be willing to take the initial small risk, the small leap of faith, and then sometime after—-------boooooom, you’re where you want to be. Now ain’t that something?
So much of what we do or don’t do simply doesn’t happen because of “how it makes us look” or “what other people think”. We all want what’s out there in the world to be the “absolute best”, but the simple fact of the matter is that this isn’t what life is all about.
People care way less than you may think.
Try it. Upload a video to a new channel. Nothing happens.
The fact of the matter is just that you can just go out and try different things. If it ain’t perfect: don’t worry. If it’s meant to be good, then people will pick up on it in the “crappiest version”.
It ain’t about perfection. That can come later.
This is about trying things out. It’s about coloring outside of the lines. This is about going to the excess, to go the extreme, to figure out where things will bend.
And then you know.
Sometimes that’s all there is to it. Sometimes you just have to find out.
Hit the wall.
Try again.
Hit another wall.
Try again.
But learn from it. Make small progress each time, and then you will find out after some time that one of the things that you “put out there”. That it actually works. And they all say that you shouldn’t do it for validation, but man does it feel good. And none of it would have happened if you didn’t get started in the first place.
So just go and do it. Just start. See where it leads. See what happens. And the worst that can happen is that you figure out what doesn’t work. And then you do the opposite. Then you do what does work. And you keep doing it. And you do more of it. And then one day, you got something. You got a fly-wheel, that will keep on spinning, and that’s when you backpedal, try new things, because it feels good, it gives you that rush, and there ain’t nothing quite like it. And that’s when you have found your groove. Now ain’t that something?
Forget about mind-set, strategies, protocols, principles, key questions, long-term ambitions, “moon-shots”, missions, and all of those things. There is a place and time, but it only makes sense once you are able to put all of it in the right frame of mind. There needs to be a bigger idea that ties everything else together. The sort of idea that is easy to understand, but that puts everything in a brighter light. It’s because we lose track when it all gets way too complicated, and to an extent it’s all over-thinking a lot of things that are essentially simple.
And I have been thinking a lot about this lately, because it has to do with where you are right now, but also where you want to start when you build your empire———that’s where all this becomes ultra-important, and I thought the greatest thing to pass down is “wealth”, and “what it means to be a good person”. But I have come to realize that this is not all of it, because it’s too broad. It’s also too vague. It’s too fragile because it can all be lost. And with things like these; it usually requires just a bit of time until the insight comes to mind. So that’s what I did: I gave things some time.
There just has to be something that’s more important than wealth, and I think that I know what it is: it’s the belief that the world is a place of abundance. This means that there is more than enough food available for everyone. This means that there is enough land and resources to build a big ass house. This means that there are endless opportunities, and you can just take a pick. It means that having failed at something isn’t the end, but there are new opportunities around every corner. It means life is ultimately supposed to be good, enjoyable and easy.
This doesn’t mean that you will get it all served to you. Because you will still need to go out there. You will still need to do the Hard Work. You will still need to grind. You will still have sleepless nights because you aren’t there yet. You will still need to figure out your edge, as well as the one thing that will keep you going. You will still need to play the long game. You will still need to be patient. You will still need to take the beatings where you try a hundred times, and you will only have a few successes that you can put under your belt.
The world as a place of abundance just means that there are enough opportunities for everyone. The world is big enough. The world has enough to offer. It’s just a matter of time until you have figured out what is uniquely yours. Until you can claim your stake, and hold on to it for deer life as you move on from opportunity to opportunity. It’s all about finding the thing works, and to create leverage.
And if you keep all of this in the back of your mind; that the world is a place of abundance, then you are ten steps ahead of everyone else. And then it’s just a matter of time before you are where you are supposed to be. Because if the world is a place of abundance, then you will just start things and see where it leads. You will not doubt, overthink and put up roadblocks. You will just go, because you just unapologetically believe that it has to be out there. You just have to grind and go do the Hard Work, to charge on against everything else. People will look at you and think you are crazy, but you know better, you are on a mission, and deep down you just believe that it’s all just a matter of time before everything falls into place.
And then one day you will succeed, you will be at the top of the hill, you will look around, and you will be amazed at the life that you will have built for yourself. That’s when you sit back and think: yes, it really is a place of abundance. Now ain’t that something?
There is only one person that truly matters in the end, and that’s you. Because you are the one that you have to put up with at the end of the day. If you are doing well, then all the rest falls into place. And it may not seem “likable” or “right” to say this but we’re all motivated by what makes us feel good.
Even the most caring person that you know ultimately does this because they “feel good about it”. Feeling good about yourself is what keeps you going. You need ambitions, sure. You need to chip away at something. You need to get bigger, get stronger, you need to evolve, you need all of these things. But if you can’t feel good about yourself then you will not be able to do any of those things.
More than anything else, the way that you see yourself has to do with the way that you “see” what you did in the past. The trick is simple: feel better about your past, feel better about yourself. It’s sometimes referred to as “building a relationship with your past”, and there is something to it. It means that it takes constant work, care and it needs to have a purpose. If you manage to build that relationship in such a way that it makes you feel better in the present, then you are golden.
It hooks in with one of my other favorites, and that’s the “narrative identity”. The way that you see yourself has to do with the “stories that you tell yourself”. If you have a better story of your past, then you will feel greatly better about the present. What I like especially about the “narrative identity” is that it is rooted in the past, but it is aimed at the future. The “narrative”-part implies that it’s an ongoing process, and if you can forge that process towards a certain direction then it becomes a sort of fly-wheel that keeps on spinning, almost by itself.
So to begin, start with principle 1:
Combine this with “building a relationship with your past”, then hook in the “narrative identity” and you are well on your way to feeling better about yourself. Add some exercise, healthy diet, sensible sleep-rhythm, nurturing the best possible relationship with your wife and kids, and well then one day it’s just like booooooom: your life is way better. Now ain’t that something?
Some years ago there was this statistic that popped up: most people end up living close to where they grew up. There is just something about it that “sticks” and it’s almost in the same vein as that a lot of “luck” is involved as to where you were born. But this is very different from the “loyalty” to a location.
One of the hardest things that I ever did was to move abroad, and to decide to stay abroad for a longer period of time. My main “reason” for staying here was that in life there always has to be a “bigger opportunity”. Without a leap forward, it makes very little sense to return to something that may no longer be there.
But there’s still something about this statistic. Because where you live has a definite impact on your life trajectory. If you manage to surround yourself with like-minded people then your trajectory will be more steep and your life will be better. It’s as simple as that.
But it’s also hard to leave the things behind that you have known your whole life. But is that enough of a reason not to do things? Isn’t it the other way around: in that you should do things exactly because they are hard? Because the hard things are those that will get you to excel and get the best out of “you”.
If you take it to the next level, then it becomes even more obvious. Let’s say that you live in a place with low employment, drug abuse and overall misery. Then leaving should be easier. But in fact it may just be way harder. The “pull” might be stronger than what's keeping you from moving forward. And moving someplace else.
But I do get it. The longer you stay, the deeper the roots, the more you think you will “loose” if you decide to forge another path. But if you have an itch, then you owe it to yourself to explore it. And if there’s no “big opportunity”, then you will have to wait for a “fat pitch”. And when you got your sails up, when you are looking around, ready for opportunities, then you may just find out that everything was relative all along. The “big thing” that you were holding on to isn’t a sacrifice, but it will always be there and you can just go ahead, feeling good about it. When moving forward, there needs to be an indication that things will work out. Without it, mann, just hang on a little while longer.
Great things can be borne out of frustration, or they may never see the light of day. Deep frustration can be a force of creation, if you let. It can also go the other way, and turn into bitterness, regret and the realm of lost opportunities.
What you let it do is up to you. If you let it consume you, it will be the end of you. If you channel it towards the future, then it can be the fuel that will get you to the moon.
And yes, I’m fully aware of equity, that bad things have happened to you, that you had it tough, that it was unfair and all of that. There is a time and place for that. You can lick your wounds. It will help to heal.
But once the wounds are dry, then you have to do the most badass thing possible: and that is to go out there, to go harder than you ever went before, to dig deeper, and to forge a path were none existed.
Your “deep frustration” will be your strength, it will be what will be your “super-power” until you have put a fly-wheel together. And by that time, well, then you will forgotten all about your frustration, and all that you to do then is to ride the big fat wave. And ride it well. Ride it as hard as you can, as far as you can, and for as long as you can.
This is my super-power, because I force myself to direct my “frustrations” (we all have them, I’m no different from you!). I think about it during “worry-time”, during the odd mornings or moments that I can dedicate to “coffee and contemplation”.
Then I think about it some more during a work-out, or when it feels like the boulder that I’m pushing to the top of the hill—----that it will never get there. That’s when I dig in, that’s when I dig deep, that’s when I tell myself that this is my super-power, that this is my “little secret”, and that this will be what will get me to accomplish everything that I want out of the future for me and my family.
It’s all there, and it’s all there for the take. Life is a positive-sum game. Meaning: everyone can win, according to their terms. It’s like the rising tide that lifts all boats. It’s about having you sail up when there’s a huge gust of wind. It’s all of those things. And it’s up to you to take advantage of all of this, but the way to get there is to “direct” your “energies” and “frustrations” (actually, they are the same thing!). And then, boooooooom, a few years down, and your life looks totally different. Now, ain’t that something!?
Optimizing life and all that are a dread, and vastly overrated. Not so much because there is nothing to it. But more so because there isn’t that much that has to be said about the matter. If you got your life figured out then all the rest (“productivity”) will sort of fall into place.
I’m not much for listicles, rigid protocols and all that. But strategies, and grand ideas: tell me more. So for a strategy to work, it has to be simple. Meaning, it has to be as simple as possible, and still work.
That’s why I always like to think in terms of if it’s not a “yes yes yes”, then the answer is “no”. And sort of in line with that is my more general take on activities: if it’s not a “yes yes yes”, then I just tend to go to the “default”.
The “default” is the thing that you have done a million times. It’s what always works. It may not be what will give you big results, but it will get the ball rolling.
The “default” is what I apply to food, sports, relaxation, and time-slots to chip away at my “moon-shots”. So for breakfast if I’m in a rush: default is oats + apples. Default for exercise when I want to move but the weather ain’t all that: calisthenics in the yard. Default for relaxation: yt, in the afternoon with a few shots of espresso. Default for “moon-shots”: continue where I left off, resist the temptation to “read things over” or to “come up with ideas”.
Then once I find my groove doing the default, then it’s time to go “deep” and to double down. It’s at the times that come after the default that the truly remarkable stuff happens. That’s why I always try to chip away or do one remarkable thing that contributes to the larger mission. Every day. And what makes this do-able is that I always start from the “default”. Then on the day of R&R I let go of all of it and I relax, slow down, do other things, reflect, contemplate and “get perspective”.
Heft is the four letter word that I wish I knew before the age of 30. It’s sometimes referred to as “heavy presence”, but that is cutting it short because it implies that others need to be present. Heft is about the feeling that you’re not easily thrown off balance (emotionally or physically). It’s close to that statement of Nietzsche, that “excess of strength is the only proof of strength”.
It’s about a possibility, but not the thing itself. It’s about that notion that every man has to some extent—-it’s that feeling that you can take on about 90% of the people you come across, either head on or by out-foxing. Of the other 10, you may decide to become friends with half of them and the other half you plain out avoid.
Heft is a sort of illusion that you carry within. And I always believe that it’s good to tell yourself “little lies” that are not true, so that you have something to live up to. This truly is the sort of healthy illusion that can carry you places. Heft will give you confidence, and it will result in people approaching you in a certain way. The approach is not of an equal, but what can be very powerful in the right situation. There will be certain people who will approach you with a certain trepidation and fear.
The way to get heft to an extent is just about “deciding” that it is something you want to have. It’s also the result of a “lived experience”, and the way that you handled those situations. So this is also about “deciding” to put yourself in certain situations that will allow you to get “rough and tough”.
And what made a huge difference for me personally is asking myself questions like “is this big enough?”, “how will this make me look?”, “how do I win this war?”, “is this the best use of my time?”, “am I performing at max capacity?”. Questions like these will not just help you to figure out where you stand, but also what you’re made of.
And maybe out of all of them “is it big enough?” is the key question. Because I believe that life should always move forward. The next project should always be bigger and more complex than the one before. If it isn’t then it’s time to do something else. And if you just realize that heft is something that you acquire over the years, then you will actually end up with more of it because you simply want it (if that makes sense). And that is exactly what “heft” will get you, if you manage to harness its potential.
I always thought that three of the hardest questions that everyone has to figure out for themselves are: 1) what career do you want to pursue?, 2) who do you want to marry?, 3) where do you want to live? But there is a fourth, 4) what do you want to be known for? and it’s the one that “ties them all together”, because it has more to do with “who you are” and what you “really want out of life”.
And this is hard.
All three questions are hard.
And you can always change your answer to 1-3, but it gets harder the longer you stick with them.
So for years I thought that I wanted to be known as “the creator of an epic science-fiction series”. I never really said it in public, but it was how I felt. It was what I aimed at, and well, I have been writing for a few years, but over the years it felt less and less like the “thing” that I wanted.
So I started putting it in the back of my mind, and I narrowed it down to two choices: 1 “Clear Thinker”, or 2 “Original Thinker”. The artist in me wants 2, but the strategist in me wants 1. So I will stick with 1, because I think that I will be able to reach more people with 1, and I will therefore be able to have “a larger impact on humanity” with 1.
I do think that the first three big questions are more private, and the fourth is what you present to the outside world. The first three are all about creating an unfair advantage, and the fourth is all about shooting for the moon. And I do believe that you will have to be radical about all four: you will have to feel “good” about all four of these in order to excel in life.
That’s why it’s essential to figure out all four of these questions. And your answer has to be brief. If it’s long, then you haven’t figured it out yet. And it has to be forward facing, there has to be an upside towards the future.
So, nice to meet you, I’m Jelmer, “Clear Thinker”, what about you?
There is this wonderful phrase of Nietzsche: “the only proof of strength is the excess of strength”. To me this is the difference between barely being able to do something and a speedrun. It’s the difference between barely being able to play level 1, versus completing it perfectly in 43 seconds. The difference in skill between those two is so vast that they are almost impossible to compare.
The “key” here is that this is about “skills”.
This is about things that you can acquire if you put your mind to it.
That. And some blood, sweat and tears.
The shift is between the two ends of where we all start with new projects, and where we aspire to end up. And this is exactly what this phrase means to me: it’s all about the point where it is tangible that things are falling into place. Where it just seems that everything is lined up perfectly and that “things are finally happening”.
This is where the “power is rising” gets real. This is where you just feel that all these small iterations over a very long time are finally paying off. This is where the “object” that you wanted in the beginning comes within reach. And this is also why the “power is rising” is more impactful than the actual win itself.
And I think this has to do with the fact that a win is usually just an “instant”, but the run towards the win is way longer, and where you can anticipate what will happen next. Where it gets interesting is that the “power is rising” is the perfect “heat to put the squeeze” on a next project.
The win will come around anyway, but it’s usually more important to anticipate your next move. The timing has to be right though, because otherwise it will just feel like you are a “machine” and there is no time to breathe. But if you start the next project when your current big project is at two-thirds, then when you do complete the project: then you can celebrate, knowing that you are well on your way to realizing your next win as well.
There is this old saying that “rise and fall” are a pair, or that a fat loss usually is more likely to happen after a big fat win. I like this phrase, because it makes me both cautious and it makes me want to taunt my fate. But it also makes me aware that there have to be guardians at the gate.
Initially I thought that “rise and fall” mostly has to do with the fact that your guard is down after a win. Competitors will see this as a weakness, and they will be ready to exploit it. Maybe it is, to an extent. Maybe it’s also what you look for, to an extent. All of that becomes essential when you start playing longer games, but recognizing the feeling of the “power is rising” is essential because you can then use this as a launching pad for what comes next.
And that’s the wonderful thing about “everything”: we always want to go bigger. The ceiling of what life can be will then be way higher than you ever imagined it before.
In life we are always inclined to play it safe, and to do what is easy. There was this statistic a minute ago that even gather-hunter-societies spend most of their time sitting down. Taking it easy (or maybe taking a rest as well).
I think that to a very large extent this has to do with our cultural programming. And I heard it put the best way last week in terms of failure-tolerance: Americans have a high tolerance of failure (“well, at least you tried!), versus Europeans who have a low tolerance of failure (“you should have stayed in your lane ;-).
And this is so true, and it has taken me so long to get over this, and to actually recognize that this is what was going on. But also that so much of it is bs to begin with.
When I started working towards realizing my “moon-shots”, doing the “wild” stuff that I would really want to spend my life on—a large part of the reason for doing it the way that I did (basically besides my paid job), als has to do with this same principle. And now that I have a family to run, I am becoming even more risk-adverse, and am even less willing to put it all on the line for “what I truly believe in”.
But there is also a very subtle shift going on here: because grinding 40 hours for a pay-check, and 20 for my “moon-shots” does guarantee a financially easy life. And that is really something that I want my kids to have. They may be too small now to really see it, but when they get a little older they will really pick up on who is “well off”, versus who is “struggling”.
But I’m also a firm believer in “naming it then taming it”. So I have been taking risks for a decade, and no I haven’t made it big yet. The first time around I was pretty worried that trying things out would hurt my reputation, but the reality was that no one really seemed to care. This was a huge eye-opener, and also a way to get easier on myself: yes, I can try things out, and yes I will fail many times, but there is still this little voice in the back of my head that keeps on telling me that there “has to be a way” (or my other favorite: “this ain’t my finest hour just yet”).
So that’s more or less the reason why I keep on grinding hard. I want a good life now (not necessarily easy), and I want a better life in the future. I think that by grinding in the present, you increase the likelihood of a better life in the future. And that’s sort of what I picked up on over the years: “an easy life is actually harder”.
If you are struggling financially, then there is always this very subtle stressor in the back of your mind. And there are these statistics that kids who grow up in a poor household have “higher blood-pressure”, and I can imagine the same for adults. On top of that, being struggling financially also means you can’t do less fun things, and that you basically have a “lower quality of life”.
But it’s even bigger than that (it always has to be!). In life we have to live up to our own standards, our own code. If you can’t feel good about the person that you see in the mirror, then you have failed miserably. So if you manage to feel good and better about yourself and what you are doing, then this will spread out to the people around you . You will be a better spouse, a better parent, a better friend, inn short; a better person.
And then everything will sort of fall into place. Confidence. Reputation. Respect. Admiration. All that good stuff that is so hard to acquire, and then when you do all this, when you grind hard, when you keep going, when you play the long game, then booooooooom: it’s all right there. Like it just fell into your lap. Now, ain’t that something?
Dead tired, worn out, stretched out thin. Or just “wired and tired”. We have all been there, especially towards the end of the week. Or even just a miserable long Tuesday that doesn’t seem to come to an end. For years, when I never really got tired, I always thought of it as “an admirable state”. But my mind has changed on that.
Over the years I have become much more even keeled. And to some degree with this mental image that I always have in the back of my mind of “being on ship in a mighty storm” is key to that. When I’m out on the deck it’s all hard work, everything just needs to be done. But then I retreat to my cabin (on the ship!) and all of a sudden everything is gone. It’s like taking a side-step, to take a breath and to reconnect.
I tried different mental images but they never really work quite the same. An oil platform entirely misses that notion of moving from a to b. An apartment in a massive skyscraper misses this as well. And so does a cabin in the woods, at least as a mental image to retreat to while a storm is raging.
What I like about being out on the deck is that it’s a high-stakes situation. A few wrong steps and you’re in the water. Decisions need to be made quickly, meaning that the stress is on. And that’s why I discovered over the years that you never really know yourself until you’re in a high-stress situation.
What I also like about “a ship in a storm” is that it implies that it’s a relative short duration. The high stress and high stakes require enormous effort, with potentially huge outcomes. But it also implies that it’s a short duration. And for me this is a key component: when the time is right, I will thrive in such situations. But that’s not all the time. Because a storm means more “reacting” than “acting”, and I much rather play my games from an “acting”-point.
And that’s the thing with storms in general. If it’s a good one, you will remember fragments, and most of all how it felt, who you were there with and what went on. That’s why your ability to stand your ground under such stress is a very powerful way to build your confidence and self-image. Because storms are so rare, the way that you act in a ship on a storm stands out more, because it is even more rare.
Then maybe the mental image of “a ship in a storm” is also a way to prepare yourself for your finest hour. The saying goes that most men are not well prepared when that time comes, and maybe this mental image can also be your way to be ten steps ahead of everyone else. So consider “a ship in a storm”, carry it around with you for a while, and just see what happens.
